


What He Doesn't Know Can Hurt Us Both

by fanon_and_canon (v_e_x_x)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftercare, BDSM, Biting, Bondage, Bottom Lance (Voltron), Cock & Ball Torture, Dom Keith (Voltron), Dom/sub, Face Slapping, Lance (Voltron) Has Panic Attacks, M/M, Nipple Clamps, Nipple Torture, Overstimulation, Paddle, Safeword Use, Spanking, Spreader Bars, Sub Lance (Voltron), Top Keith (Voltron), Verbal Humiliation, Vibrators, Wrist Cuffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:15:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29615532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v_e_x_x/pseuds/fanon_and_canon
Summary: Lance and Keith have been having rough, hard sex but Lance never told Keith he didn't like it. So, during an intense scene, Lance drops.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 173





	What He Doesn't Know Can Hurt Us Both

“You have nothing else going for you but your hole. You’re nothing but a toy. You’re nothing but a little whore, I can take you whenever I want and you.” Keith pulled all the way out and shoved back in, right against his prostate. “Fucking.” Another brutal thrust. “ _ Love _ .” Keith yanked Lance’s hair and pulled, hard. Lance was sure some of it had been ripped from his skull. Yet another brutal thrust and Lance’s hair was released. “ _ It _ .” Keith slapped Lance’s face as he thrust inside again. “You  _ love _ being stuffed and crying over how much I fuck you! You’d be useless if it wasn’t for my cock, who would want a whore like you?” _ SLAP! _ Keith’s hand cracked across Lance’s face, it stung.

Tears streamed down from Lances eyes; he was in pain, overwhelmed and overstimulated. He could no longer remember how long they had been going at this; but his dick ached from the multitude of orgasms that had been forced from him. The vibrators attached to his cock, balls, and nipples seemed to be intensifying. Keith had been fucking into him for a while now, too; constantly slamming into his prostate. There wasn’t enough lube, but they ran out a while ago- Keith just laughed and chucked the bottle aside and said Lance was loose enough because of how much of a slut he was. Everything was all too much.  _ SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!  _

“Answer me, bitch! Who the fuck do you belong to?” Keith demanded, adding another bite to Lance’s heavily marked skin: bruises, bites, and hickeys covered his body. Some of the bites were bleeding.

“M-master...” Lance croaked out the best he could. He couldn’t talk much like this, and Keith knew that, but still more was demanded from Lance.

“Fucking say it right!” A few more slaps in rapid succession sounded in the room and a particularly hard thrust that nailed Lance’s prostate caused yet another orgasm to be forced from his abused cock. “Again? It’s barely been a few minutes since your last one. You’re such a disappointment, such a dumb fucking cumwhore!”

Lance couldn’t take it anymore. A fresh wave of tears spilled from his eyes as he tried to remember his safeword, but his mind was far too cluttered to pull it from his thoughts. Keith always made sure they went over it before starting, and Lance felt stupid for not remembering it. “S-st-o-stop...” Lance tried. He knew that “no” and “stop” weren’t the right words to say, though.

“Excuse me? What was that? _ I  _ decide when we stop, not you!”

“N-no… I-”

“No!? Wanna say that again, you fucking brat?” Keith yanked his hair again.

“I don’t… don’t wanna… AHH NNG!” Somehow, without Lance noticing, Keith shoved a vibe deep inside his wrecked hole. It was probably only on one of its medium settings, but it burned.

Lance attempted to open his mouth to try stopping again, but Keith clamped a hand over his lips and his nose. “Talk back to me like that again and see what happens.” He growled out, low and gravely in Lance’s ear, before taking his hand away. Keith walked somewhere else in the room and Lance screamed as he was pulled through yet another orgasm, he’d been cumming dry for a good bit now.

Keith walked somewhere else in the room and Lance screamed as he was pulled through yet another orgasm, he’d been cumming dry for a good bit now. “Pathetic.” Keith said. Lance registered a paddle, the red leather one with dull spikes, gliding over his skin. “How many for talking back, huh? Five? Count them.”

“K-Keith...” Lance whispered.  _ SLAP! _

“What did you call me?!” Keith hit Lance with the paddle again. “Address me right, worthless bitch! You think you have the right to say my name?”

“Don’- don’ wan-wanna...” Lance tried to breathe, feeling yet another orgasm build. “Stop.”

“Don’t wanna stop, huh?” Keith’s eyes grew dark and he ran the smooth side of the paddle over Lance’s ass. “Five more, then.” Keith moved his hand back and waited. “Count from one.”

“NO!” Lance yelled just as the paddle connected with his ass. More tears. Lance couldn’t see anymore, couldn’t breath, couldn’t speak. He started shaking violently, even more than he already was. 

Keith moved quickly, turning everything off before cupping Lance’s face and smoothing back his hair. Lance was mumbling, spewing out incoherent noises and random words while trying to form a cohesive thought. “Hey, shh, shh. It’s okay. I’ve got you, baby boy. You’re okay.” Keith pressed light kisses all over Lance’s face, careful not to touch the rest of his body. Sadly, he was no stranger to Lance’s panic attacks.

The sounds of the metal spreader bar rang loudly through the room and clashed with Lance’s muttering as he tried to escape. “I’m gonna take the bar off now, okay? You’re doing so great, baby. Just keep trying to breathe. Don’t worry about talking right now.” Keith spoke softly and pressed another kiss to Lance’s nose before gently removing the bar and undoing the cuffs that attached Lance’s wrists to the bar.

Keith grimaced at the thought of having to wait to massage Lance’s body, at not being able to gently coax his muscles out of the position they were held in, at not being able to take the time and care he usually did when taking Lance out of the gear.

“C-couldn’t...” Keith caught some of Lance’s speech. “... word. Can’t remember!” Lance was whispering frantically through his heavy pants and gasps, Keith knew if he didn’t do something soon Lance could start hyperventilating.

“I’ll help you remember after you feel better, okay baby?” Keith ran his fingers through Lance’s hair. “Just breathe with me.”

It was challenging, but eventually Lance calmed down from his panic attack and Keith started their aftercare routine. Taking his time with the oils and lotions, making sure to massage all of Lance’s muscles. Everything they used sat in a bin at the foot of the bed, waiting to be cleaned and put away. All the while, Keith sang his praises to Lance and how perfect he was, how good he did. He kissed everywhere he could and spoke softly, “Alright baby, let’s get you into the bathroom. I’ll look you over, clean you up, and then we’ll take a bath.”

And that’s what Keith did. He pampered and took care of Lance. Making sure he peed and was taken care of before letting him slip into the bath. “I’m gonna run the dryer and get your water and snack, okay?” Keith lightly ruffled Lance’s hair before exiting the room while Lance soaked in the hot water and bubbles. It didn’t take long for Keith to come back. “Here,” he said, giving Lance the water bottle and chocolate covered cherries. They were Lance’s favorite thing to have after sex. “I’m gonna get your treatment in your hair so it can set while I wash you, baby.” Keith murmured against Lance’s temple. His lips were so soft, gentle even.

This was their usual aftercare routine: Keith would coax Lance’s body out of the gear and toys, massaging and using oils and lotions to keep Lance’s skin exactly the way he likes it. They would then move to the bathroom for Keith to clean the lube, cum, and whatever else off and out of Lance before moving on to check all of his marks- old and new. The mark checking included kissing every. Single. One. As well as wound care. The tub would be filling the whole time, and when Keith was done looking Lance over he would slip him into the hot water and suds to grab his water and snack then start the dryer. The dryer made sure that everything would be warm and fluffy for cuddle time. While Lance ate his snack and sipped his drink, Keith would clean him before climbing in the tub behind him for a few minutes until the dryer was done. And then cuddle time was usually TV and talking until they fell asleep. Then, finally, Lance’s pampering would continue the entirety of the following day.

Thankfully, by the time Keith climbed into the tub Lance had completely calmed down. He settled into his after-sex-norm, which was soaking up his time with Keith and trying not to let what he said during sex get to him. Though, today that was a huge problem. Lance couldn’t get any of it out of his head and everytime Keith opened his mouth to give affection, love, and praise, all Lance could hear was how much of a disappointment he was. How pathetic. How insignificant. While he was being hand-fed, he started to cry. It wasn’t the silent pretty cry, either. No. It was snot filled, loud, and ugly. And Keith? He just held Lance tight. The dryer’s little jingle played after a few minutes, letting the two know that it was done.

“Are you going to be okay here while I get everything, baby boy?” Keith whispered.

Lance, who was still crying, just nodded and it was easy for anyone to see that Keith was hesitant to leave him alone- but he did. Keith rushed out of the bathroom, drying himself off as he moved, before setting everything up. Keith quickly came back and guided the sobbing Lance into the huge, blue, fluffy towel and into their bedroom. Somewhere between then and getting settled in bed, Lance’s sobs quieted. Until Keith asked him what was wrong, that is.

“I-I...” Lance began crying again. Keith pet his hair and told him to take his time. ”, tried to- I… I couldn’t-”

“It’s okay, baby. Breathe. Go slow.”

“I’m sorry!” Was all Lance got out before breaking down again.

“Hey, it’s alright baby. There’s nothing to be sorry for, you did nothing wrong. You’re perfect, baby. My perfect boy.” Keith said, pulling Lance closer. “I love you so much. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Everything is okay, everything is just fine.” Keith tried to be reassuring, but that just made Lance cry harder.

“No-” Lance was speaking between sobs, “it’s- it’s- it isn’t!”

“Okay, okay.” Keith said quietly. “What’s wrong?”

There was silence while Lance tried to gather up himself enough to speak again. “I tried to stop,” he bagan, “but… I couldn’t remember how.” Lance shut his eyes tight and kept going, “it wouldn’t stop and, and, and it kept getting worse and it  _ hurt _ ! It hurt  _ so _ .  _ Much _ . I just wanted it to stop! It wouldn’t stop!”

Keith readjusted his arms around Lance so he could hug him tighter. It was hard for him not to cry too, but he managed. “I’m so sorry, baby. We’ll find a way to make sure that doesn’t happen again. We can get a button or something and try it out next time-”

“No! I can’t do it anymore. I’m sorry, but I just can’t!” Lance tried his best not to look at Keith’s face, he buried his face in Keith’s chest, gripping his shirts tightly as he could. Lance tried not to cry again, it was putting more strain on his body and making his headache and sore throat worse.

“How about we talk about it tomorrow, baby?” Keith wanted to make sure he spoke carefully, he didn’t want Lance to think he was trying to avoid talking about this. “I don’t want to stress you out anymore right now. I know tonight was hard, so it’ll be better to talk about this when we have clear heads. We’ll just rest and take it easy until tomorrow, okay?” Keith switched from playing with Lance’s hair to lightly massaging his head.

“N-no… I have- I have to stop. I can’t keep doing it. I-I’m sorry, I know I should keep sucking it up and make you happy. I know I’m disappointing you, I know. I just can’t get everything out of my head! A-and everything hurts and I know I’m pathetic for saying that I can’t do it anymore and I want to be good enough for you, but I’m not! I can’t be. Not anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Keith was worried, Lance hadn’t had a drop before and this one was pretty bad. “You do make me happy. You make me so happy, Lance.”

“The sex.” Lance chanced a look at Keith’s face and he saw everything click into place. Keith now knew.

“Oh my- holy sh- I-” Keith tried to find the words and stuttered, making Lance feel worse. Keith was mad, he was mad that Lance couldn’t take it. Mad that Lance lied. Keith, even though it shouldn’t have been possible, pulled Lance even closer to himself. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay baby?” Keith whispered. Lance just nodded.

“Are you mad?”

“No, baby. I’m not mad at you. At myself maybe, but not you. It’s my job to take care of you and I didn’t. Not just tonight, but for  _ months _ . But I promise, we’re going to talk about it and I’m gonna try and make it better.” This time when Keith tried not to cry, it didn’t work and a few tears spilled from his eyes, down his face, and settled in Lance’s hair.

“I never told you. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry, I just wanted to make you happy.” Lance’s voice was cracking and his body showed signs of trying to cry again.

“No, shhh. Don’t apologize.” Keith kissed the top of Lance’s head, right over his own small puddle of tears. “I  _ am  _ happy with you. I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you feel like you had to do things you didn’t want to. I’m sorry it got to this.”

“C-can we talk about it now?”

“Do you want to?” Keith pulled back and looked at Lance’s red, puffy, tear stained face. Lance felt humiliated, he was such a mess. “I don’t want to overload you, you’ve had a really hard time; it’s okay to wait.”

Lance nodded. “I want to.”

“Okay.” Keith nodded and brought his thumbs up to Lance’s face so he could wipe his cheeks, though in reality he just succeeded in smearing the wet tears around. “How do you want to start?”

“I-I don’t know. I, uhm, I just… I just didn’t think I could sleep without talking.”

“Okay,” Keith sat up against the headboard, putting a pillow behind him, and resituated Lance so that he was across his lap. “What, uhm, what did I do that made you think I’d be happier if you didn’t say anything?”

“It wasn’t you.” Lance swallowed hard around the lump in his throat and rubbed the fabric of their comforter between his fingers, it was something he did a lot. “I just, I thought that since everyone always ends up leaving, that if I could keep you happy then you’d stay. And keeping you happy meant just going along with whatever you liked. If,” Lance sighed, “if someone thinks the sex is bad then they might leave.” Lance looked at Keith with a weak smile. “Happy wife, happy life.”

Keith frowned. “Hey, I’m not going to leave you because you don’t like rough sex. I promise, it’s not something I need in a relationship. And I wouldn’t just leave, either. If, for some reason, I thought I’d need to leave, I’d tell you. We’d talk about it, like we are now. I promise.” Keith held his pinky out to Lance, they did this whenever they promised each other something. There was something in the innocence of it that solidified its symbolism and meaning. Lance took it with his own pinky and Keith kissed his nose. “So, what don’t you like about how we’ve been having sex?”

Lance gave a small, weak laugh. “It’d be easier to tell you what I do like...” Keith nodded, telling Lance to keep going. “Uhm, I like blindfolds and the tying up. I like spanking but not a lot of it. The overstimulation is nice sometimes. Light biting- like, no blood.” Lance struggled to think of specific things they’d done together but it was hard, especially since it made him think of all the things he  _ didn’t  _ like, the things that hurt, the things that were said.

“Well, obviously, we won’t have this kind of sex anymore; not unless you, on your  _ own _ \- decide you want to try it again.” Keith waits for Lance to agree before continuing. “We’ll start slow and try different things you think you might like, okay?” Lance nods, and Keith pauses for a minute to think. “Earlier when you said you couldn’t get it out of your head, what were you talking about?” Lance looked down again, laying his head on Keith’s shoulder and avoiding his face.

“I just, uhm,” Lance paused and Keith started rubbing his back while Lance played with the blanket again, “the things you say. It, like, plays in my head a lot. All the time, actually. The names and the saying you’re gonna find someone else because I’m not good enough, the insults. I mean, it’s stuff I grew up thinking about myself so I’m used to it, but- yeah.”

“Holy fuck, Lance. I had no idea.” Keith sounds upset, sad. “ _ None _ of what I’ve said during sex is true. You aren’t any of those things.” Lance just nods and sinks further into Keith. “And trust me, there is nobody out there that I want instead of you. There’s no one I want more than I want you.” Lance starts to cry again, slowly tears run down his face. “You’re perfect.” Keith kisses Lance’s forehead. “And special.” Then his left cheek. “And smart.” Right cheek. “Funny.” His voice drops and he kisses his nose. “You’re everything to me.” His lips. It’s long, chaste, and sweet. Filled with love and care. When they pull away, They’re both wearing small smiles. Keith cups Lance’s cheek and rubs his face with his thumb. “You know I love you, right?”

“I love you, too.” Lance whispers, his voice is rough.

“I promise I’m going to do everything I can do to make this better. I would never have done  _ any _ of what I did if I’d known you didn’t like it. Headspaces like that are so delicate and whenever you were in it I...” Keith takes a deep breath, “I was abusive. There’s no other way to put it.” Keith wipes at his eyes. “Sorry, I’m not the one that can cry right now.”

“No. You’re hurt, too.” Lance is adamant as he grasps one of Keith’s hands in his own. “But you weren’t abusive. You didn’t know. You thought I liked it.” Keith tried to argue, but Lance shut it down. “No. You’re not going to talk bad about yourself like this. We’re gonna fix it, just like you said.” Keith nodded and this time it was Lance that connected their lips. It was quick and soft, but it reassured the both of them that everything would be okay. The two of the settled back down under the covers and spent the night as close to each other as they could possibly be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Ell for beta reading and making my profile picture! Her Twitter is [@EllBell1524](https://twitter.com/EllBell1524)
> 
> I’m on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/fanon_and_canon) and [Insta](https://www.instagram.com/fanon_and_canon/)
> 
> Feel free to check out my other fics, too!


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